I was 20 when I first realized what so many women had warned about. I was new to dating and, at my roommates’ encouragement, tried a dating app. After an average first date, he invited me to his apartment for a movie with his roommates, but when I arrived, we were alone. I felt uneasy but convinced myself I was overreacting.

Mine is a story of post separation abuse. I found out he had been cheating on me with different women for almost 20 years. He was never around and home with our two kids.

When telling people I was only married for four months, I may get the response, oh you didn’t even give it a fair chance, or what did he hit you? I normally respond with it just didn’t work out. How did I decide to be done so quickly and why am I a part of such that small percent that didn’t go back?

On the outside, everything looks perfect. Beautiful home, amazing children, nice cars, cute shoes, all of it. But behind closed doors, life was so much more dark than anyone could have imagined.

I began my domestic violence journey a decade ago in another state, not as a survivor, but as a helper. I wanted to help others.

CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence takes many forms, and in my case, it takes the form of emotional and mental abuse. When CPS showed up at my home, I discovered my spouse had been physically abusing my children for an indeterminate amount of time.

This year I watched some public meetings during the legislative session. At the meetings I attended, I wished that more people from Utah and my community would watch the meetings too.

CONTENT WARNING: I was only 15 when I met my first abusive boyfriend. He was controlling, angry, belittled me and punched walls near my face to scare me. The emotional abuse is where it started and it escalated when he sexually assaulted me and physically hit me with a wire hanger one night.

FROM H.N. IN SALT LAKE COUNTY

8 years ago, I was living my dream, working as a DCFS caseworker. On my first day of work, I met a new friend, and we bonded quickly.

After two bad marriages I reached out to a old friend from high school. I thought he would be the perfect man for me as I remembered him being all those years ago. The dating was a whirlwind.

CONTENT WARNING: Growing up, I was in a home surrounded by violence. My dad was an alcoholic and addicted to meth, so when he would start throwing things and hitting us kids at the slightest inconvenience, I just thought that is how dads are. When I was 15, I started dating my abuser.

CONTENT WARNING: I accidentally shared with my teenage daughter that I had decided to get divorced. Then, because I believed it wasn't fair for her to have to keep a secret like that, I told my husband before I had planned to. He threatened to attack me "if I backed him into a corner," and the verbal abuse escalated for a week until I asked him not to kill me while I was sleeping. After I heard myself say those words, I wasn't able to stay there anymore, and I stayed with a friend.

CONTENT WARNING:

I’ve sold a company. Sit on boards you’d recognize. Handle mergers and acquisitions, get paid to help other people do the same.

I also struggle to have access to my own money, despite enlisting attorneys to help. Go days without being acknowledged. Live under a microscope of judgement, isolated from people who care about me.

CONTENT WARNING:

I never thought I would be a victim of domestic violence. My husband had never showed signs of being violent. After our child was born he became more aggressive.