From A.G.M. in cache county

Dear Utah,

I was 20 when I first realized what so many women had warned about. I was new to dating, and at my roommates’ encouragement, tried a dating app. After an average first date, he invited me to his apartment for a movie with his roommates, but when I arrived, we were alone. I felt uneasy but convinced myself I was overreacting.

As the night went on, he became increasingly touchy and kissed me. At first, it felt flattering, but then he picked me up, carried me to his room, and shut the door. He laughed, but I was terrified. He pinned me down and touched me without my consent. I remember feeling frozen, unable to speak or move, until I finally managed to say, “Stop, I don’t want to do this.” He dismissed me, insisting I was fine and just inexperienced.

In that moment, I knew I had to get away. I kicked him off and ran, while just wearing my my jeans all loose and only a bra. His roommate told me to “just calm down, and that we could resolve this” but I kept running until I was safe. In the aftermath, I was in shock and didn’t allow myself to process what happened for months. I confided in my mom in December of 2021, sharing how lost and hopeless I felt. She became my hero, helping me move home and begin to heal.

I wish I didn’t feel so embarrassed, or blame myself. I wish I’d called the police, and maybe help someone else from going through the same thing. Most of all, I wish no woman ever had to feel unsafe with someone she just wanted to trust.